I am a very emotional person, very sensitive. I feel things deeply. I am also an overthinker. A worrier. Maybe prone to anxiety. And maybe with a tendency to get the blues at times too….sheesh, I’m a mess, huh?? My husband tells me I also suppress my feelings, especially my angry feelings. (But I don’t really do that. I don’t get angry. He’s just being a f*#king jerk.) So all this stuff I normally manage to cope with in healthy ways- exercise, connecting with friends, talking about things, journaling, interpretive dance. (Just kidding on that last one) Other times, not so healthy. Usually by eating junk…emotional eating.

I have two levels of emotional eating. The first, more common level, is eating crap because I just get cranky and don’t care. This usually happens when I’m tired and/or hungry and/or stressed about day-to-day life stuff. A friend of mine dubbed it a case of the “F-its.” Because that’s what we say to ourselves while we’re doing it. This can also happen when you’re working hard and eating right and not seeing results. (Maybe a little case of self-sabotage?)

Somewhere around level one, you might find mindless eating. This isn’t much of a problem for me- I usually know very well what I’m doing even if I feel out of control doing it. But I know it’s a problem for a lot of people. Picking on things while you’re making dinner, taking bits of food from your kids’ plates, snacking on chips in front of the TV.

Also included in this level is overeating in general. Going for that second helping at dinner or eating too much dessert. Finding comfort in “comfort foods.”

The second level is full-on binging. Like after-school special binging. This is where I eat junk, usually more than one thing, to the point of discomfort. I’ll move from cookies to chips to granola bars to candy. I’m not very selective at this level. (A recent binge included Dots leftover from Halloween. I got made fun of for buying dots, but my daughter likes them and they’re allergen friendly! Dots don’t usually really do it for me, but there I was eating tiny box after tiny box of Dots.) And it feels like shoveling. Like I take bigger bites and I keep up a good pace.

Second-level emotional eating is usually the result of deeper emotions. Like grief. Or worry about a serious life-thing. Those emotions that feel physical. And, now that I think about it, feel like an actual hole. A hole that needs filling. Why can’t I just fill that hole with spinach?? Or grilled chicken?

What is it about shoveling food in that makes things better? Nothing. Nothing gets better. I feel worse afterward. Physically because I have a stomachache and my jeans feel tight. Emotionally because I was sad to begin with and now I feel like I’m just a big old mess who just acted like a crazy person. Mentally because I wasn’t disciplined enough to stop myself from acting like a big old crazy person mess.

I go through long phases of being fine and eating healthfully. Have I told you about that time when I didn’t eat sugar from mid-January to mid-May?! No sugar! For four months! And I loved it, and I didn’t feel deprived. I had zero physical cravings. It was wonderful and I felt great. So I know it’s possible. But here I am six months later and the whole food thing is tripping me up again. I know I’ll get through this rough patch (I’m coming out of the worst year of my life) but it still sucks being in it.

So what am I doing about it? I’m keeping up with exercise (as best I can with my bum hip!) and working on my mindset. It is all about mindset. All. About. Mindset.

Change Your Mindset

You will not change, you will not lose weight, you will not get off those meds, you will not feel better if you don’t change your mindset.

You will not stop eating Dots at an alarming rate or buying a bag of Pop Chips at ShopRite and eating them all before you pull in your driveway even if it means parking on the side of your house so no one knows you’re home yet if you don’t change your mindset.

And how do you change your mindset? You read books that help you do that. You hang around people (in person or online) that help you do that. You look inside a little more and you figure things out. And you do your best to love yourself and be kind to yourself in the process.

I’m here doing those things and I know I’ll get through this phase! These are the things that are really going to stop emotional eating. But there are also some things that can help in the moment.

Here are a few things I try to think about when emotional eating comes creeping around…

• Think of food as fuel. Eat to fuel your body with good stuff.
• You know what it tastes like. You’ve had those Dots before, you know what they taste like. You don’t need to eat them now.
• Ask yourself, “How will this food make me feel?” If the answer is crappy, don’t eat it.
• Redirect. Distract yourself. Get away from the food. Do something else. Have a cup of tea. Chew some gum.
• It’s not worth it. The brief moments of satisfaction that food gives you are not worth feeling bad about it after or undoing your hard work to treat your body right.

Sometimes I’ll think of these things and they will stop the emotional eating. Sometimes they’ll curtail the emotional eating. Sometimes I’ll say “F it” and keep on doing my emotional thing. If I keep it up though, keep coming back to these tips each time I’m going in for the junk food, things will shift and I’ll get back to normal.

And this is a lifestyle, this whole mindset thing. You can’t read one book and have a positive mindset forever. It needs to become part of your life. Sometimes you’ll have rough patches where you get off track (like me lately). It’s bound to happen. You just do your best to pick yourself up as soon as you can, dust yourself off, and get back to a good place. A place where you eat for health, you eat to fuel your body, you enjoy healthy food, you eat to satiation not to discomfort, you can enjoy treats without overdoing it.

Healthy eating doesn’t have to suck. You can eat healthily and be happy and feel good. Start working on your mindset.

Happiness disclaimer: I feel like I have to say this whenever I talk about not happy stuff. I am a very happy person. I love my life and I am grateful every day for all my blessings. But my life isn’t perfect and I get sad and I get stressed and I worry. That’s it. And then I do something to work through my feelings and bring myself back to a better place. (Or I eat Dots. Depending on the day.)

Do you eat when you’re stressed? I always wished I was one of those people who “couldn’t eat” or “forgot to eat” when things are rough!