Sweaty Selfies

I feel like I have to share my feelings on selfies, sweaty selfies in particular because I realized this past weekend that I have some unresolved issues with them.

You see, taking selfies is and has always been hard for me. For several reasons.

One, part of me thinks the whole selfie thing is silly and vain.

Two, I am not very photogenic.

Three, I am very self-conscious and insecure by nature. Working on it, but still!

So taking a sweaty selfie is really pretty uncomfortable for me. Added to the discomfort of selfies, in general, is the fact that the sweaty selfie is being taken before I’ve showered, dried my hair, and put makeup on.

I am certainly not going to get pretty to work out in my house- part of the beauty of working out in my house is that no one is going to see me- just to get a nicer sweaty selfie. I don’t want to try to be pretty that early in the morning.

And I am certainly not going to reenact my workout and get back in sporty clothes when I’m ready for the day. Just to get a nicer sweaty selfie.

I feel like if I’m going to take the godforsaken thing it’s going to be real. (But, oh, that morning hair.)

I also felt like I had to talk about selfies with my daughters, especially the older one. I told her the reasons for me taking sweaty selfies…

1. I think people like seeing a picture of the person who’s saying they worked out. I don’t know if it’s because it makes it more real- like proof it happened. Or because it makes it more human. Or more vulnerable. But people respond more when there’s a picture.
2. I tried to explain that selfies can be vain and self-centered, but they can also be a fun way to document something in your life.
3. Selfies can be a way to capture something and it can be fun to share them. But taking selfies, or any pictures can get in the way of really enjoying an event or experience.
4. Social media can put pressure on us to look perfect and be perfect and that’s just not a healthy way to live life.

And these explanations make it important to me that I keep the selfie unadulterated. No primping. No filters. Much as I would love to filter my face at 6 am!!

Because this selfie isn’t about vanity or looking pretty, it’s about showing some woman out there who hates to exercise that this woman over here who used to hate to exercise is exercising every day and loving it!

It’s about showing that this woman over here does not have fake boobs or abs or a supermodel body but exercises because it makes her happy and it makes her feel good.

It’s about showing that this woman over here keeps working out, muffin top or not!

This selfie is about showing some woman out there that you don’t have to be perfect and you can be vulnerable. You can hate exercise and find a way to do it anyway and then come to find one day that you actually like it and then realize some other day that it’s become a part of your life.

It’s about showing some woman out there that there is nothing wrong with you. You weren’t born without a discipline gene. You are not flawed. You are not missing something that all those fit people out there have. You just haven’t found your thing yet.

But there’s hope.

This selfie is about hope and change and loving yourself while you work to change.

I’m not trying to talk anyone else into taking a selfie here!  (But if you do I would love to see some!)

You see, about a year and a half ago someone made fun of me for my sweaty selfies. It was already something I wasn’t really comfortable with so when this person said something to the effect of, “Look at Mary. She embarrasses herself on Facebook every day,” it got me. I would like to say it didn’t bother me. I would like to say I shrugged it off.

But it did bother me. I haven’t posted a selfie, sweaty or otherwise, on my personal Facebook page since. I have only posted a few on my Stay at Home Fit Facebook page.

I told this story about someone’s stupid comment at the amazing retreat I went to this past weekend and I cried. Because that one stupid comment isn’t just about that one stupid comment. It’s about being vulnerable and getting hurt because you let yourself be vulnerable. And that’s a sucky feeling.

So I took a selfie this morning (maybe my worst one yet!) and I posted it on Facebook as a reaffirmation to myself about why I do what I do even if it feels very uncomfortable sometimes. And as a reaffirmation of what I’m committed to being- stronger, more focused, and more true to myself.

I still hate selfies. And I probably always will on some level. But if taking them makes me more real to someone out there or makes my path more real I’ll keep taking them.

(And if you think I hate selfies, you should hear my thoughts on before and after pictures!!)

So excuse my hair, my puffy face, my messy house in the background. If you don’t appreciate my selfie I don’t blame you. But it probably means you’re not the person I’m taking that selfie for.