It’s Valentine’s Day today. Love it or hate it or think it’s a made-up holiday, chances are you gave some thought to it and probably did something nice for someone else. But when was the last time you intentionally did something to show yourself some love? Take some time today, and hopefully every day, to do just that with these 10 ways to love yourself. (And I’m not just talking deep inner self-reflection here; it can be a mani-pedi. Or a nap.)

Love Yourself

1. Exercise. And do it as an act of taking care of your body- not because you have to, not because you have to meet a friend at the gym, not because you want to lose weight. Do something short and sweet with the sole purpose of sending your body a message that it is loved. If I had to pick one mood-altering, life-changing, kick-ass way to feel more confident, love yourself, and love life more it would be to exercise. If you haven’t found a form of exercise you like or even tolerate yet, keep at it. There’s something out there for you and once it clicks you’re on your way.
2. Eat something healthy. I’m not saying skip the chocolates or have kale for dinner. But eat something healthy today and do it as an act of love for yourself. Think about fueling your body, about all the nutrients in the food fueling your cells. 
3. Do something nice for yourself. Make what you want for dinner. Or better yet order in! Buy your favorite ice cream at the store. Have coffee with a friend. Think of all the nice things we do for others- our kids, our husbands, our parents, our coworkers, our neighbors, our friends. Treat yourself.
4. Practice an act of self-care. Have a cup of tea, paint your nails, give yourself a mini-facial, meditate, take a catnap, read a book, sit and look out the window for ten minutes. Do something that will make you feel good, something restorative and relaxing.
5. See yourself as a child. I know this sounds hokey. I saved the more hokey stuff for later in the list on purpose. But think about the love and tenderness you are capable of giving to a child. (Or a puppy if you’re more of a dog person.) Even when that child is being a pain in the butt or self-centered or whiny or anything but perfect. Take a minute to appreciate that the person you are now started out as a child, was shaped by life, and deserves the same love you would give a child.
6. See yourself as someone else sees you. We can be very hard on ourselves. It’s likely we are harder on ourselves than anybody else would be. Before you judge yourself think about how someone else would see you. I wrote a post about this a while ago; you can read it here.
7. Remember the bad stuff is just a sliver. There’s a quote by Brené Brown that just sticks with me: “There is a real fear that we can be buried or defined by an experience that, in reality, is only a sliver of who we are.” (I loved it so much it inspired a post on forgiveness.) Maybe you’re beating yourself up about something from the past or for snapping (or full-out crazy-person yelling) at your kids. This could be something not-so-big or maybe something huge. Either way, it’s just a sliver of who you are. It does not define you. Remember that those parts of you that are hard to like or hard to forgive are just a small part of the whole. And all of you is worth loving.
8. Embrace your dark side. This one sounds creepy, but what I mean is accept your imperfections. Accept that you have thoughts and feelings you don’t necessarily share with the world. Another quote I love is this one by Jason Connell: “To be human is to be stormy and tempestuous one day (or moment), and then calm and sunny the next.” We all have a dark side. Some of us show it more than others, some of us repress it more than others, but we all have it. It’s part of being human. And by embrace it I don’t mean you have to go there on purpose or storm around and be “dark,” just don’t beat yourself up for having that dark side. It’s normal.
9. Boost your self-confidence. Even if you’re loving yourself already, there are days we could all use a boost. Pick up a personal development book. Wrap it up in a Hemmingway book jacket if you’re embarrassed. (Here’s a post with some of my favorites.) Make a list of things you like about yourself. Ask someone you trust to tell you his or her favorite thing about you. Do some affirmations. If you cringed on that last one, I’m with you. But they really work if you can get past the initial weirdness!
10. Practice gratitude. I used to hate the whole “attitude of gratitude” thing. It always comes up around Thanksgiving. Or on Thursday Facebook posts. It felt too vague and forced and overdone. But all along I was feeling gratitude and expressing gratitude. So if I say gratitude and you say ick revisit it. I started my gratitude journal back in November and I can say it has- no doubt- made a difference in my life. And it can help you love yourself more. I like using the book 31 Days of Gratitude by Shilamida because it eases you and guides you into the practice. But you can also just get a plain notebook and write down some things for which you feel grateful. 

We give and give and give and go and go and go. The very idea of “loving ourselves” seems silly and weird and might make us want to roll our eyes. But the next time you feel like screaming, for example, it might be because you need to give yourself a little time. It might be because you’re burnt out or resentful.

We need to intentionally make time to do something good for us or it will never happen. Feel nauseous at the words “love yourself”? How about “girls’ night out”? Making the time to do something fun with friends counts. I’m not saying you need to put on a robe, light some incense, and connect with your inner child on a mountaintop somewhere. Just remember that you spend a lot of time a) loving other people, b) taking care of other people, c) thinking about other people, d) accepting other people. Give yourself some time, too.

 

Whether you already love yourself fully and unabashedly, love yourself most of the time, think you’re just meh, or struggle with self-loathing, take some time to love yourself on purpose.

What do you do to take care of yourself?

 

 

 

 

 

P.S. Share this post with someone you love! Maybe with someone who needs to make a little more me-time.

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