Ya know Buddha? Cute guy with a big belly and a peaceful smile? Or maybe you know the more serious-looking, slim-faced version? Well, last summer I became mildly obsessed with Buddha. Not as obsessed as I once was with crystal meth (reading about it, not doing it) or Oliver the Humanzee (have you heard about him? CRAZY!) but a little bit obsessed. And I came out of that phase thinking we could all use a little bit of Buddha.

So here’s how it started…I read something about Buddhism online and it got my wheels spinning. On the drive down to the Outer Banks, my husband started talking about Buddhism. Weird, right? Then when we got to the Outer Banks- but not yet to the house we were staying in- my brother said something about Buddhism. Hmm…Then- brace yourself- we get to the house and guess what’s there. A statue of Buddha!

Now, I know there are statues of Buddha all over the place. So you might be thinking, “So what? I just saw a Buddha at the Christmas Tree Store.” But I think it was a sign.

Before I get any further I want to say:

• I know very little about Buddha and Buddhism
• I (and my lack of knowledge) am in no way making light of Buddha or Buddhism
• Buddhism has a lot to offer and we could really benefit from its teachings!

Ok, back to the Outer Banks…There is an adorable little bookstore near where we stayed so I bought not one, not two, but three books about Buddhism! I’ve only read two of them and some stuff online. So I am not a Buddhism expert. But I thought I’d share some of what it’s brought to my life because it’s good stuff.

A Little Bit of Buddha

One of the main things I have taken away from what I’ve read is the idea of letting go. Thoughts are just thoughts and you can let them come and let them go. (It takes some practice, I’m guessing because most of the time I let them come and I let them move in/fester/multiply.) And it is the same with worry.

There is also the matter of being ok with the thoughts, but seeing them as separate from the you who is observing them…

Worries will come. That’s ok. But then you let them go.

Here’s where you might want to consult an expert. But my very beginning understanding was illustrated perfectly last summer…

A Story of Useless Worry

Last summer I interviewed for a job I did not want. It was a position I didn’t want in a place I didn’t want to be. But, it was a job that I knew I would have to take if it was offered to me.

So off I wobbled to my interview (a little out of practice with heels) and it went well. I walked out of there confident the job was mine; there were just some formalities that had to be taken care of. The appointment had to be approved by another department and all that. It was summer time, I knew the person I interviewed with was going away for a few days, so I figured I might not hear for a little while…

Two weeks went by. For two weeks I lived with a knot in my stomach. I cried many times. I dreaded starting this job I didn’t want.

And then: I didn’t get the job. It turned out I was missing a qualification required by an overseeing department. I had asked about it at the interview, but the person in charge of where I’d be working assured me I didn’t need it. I think she was just mistaken, rules had changed, things had gotten stricter.

Anyway, when the call came and I heard the news I cried with relief. (The secretary who called probably felt very sorry for me, thinking, “Sheesh, this lady really wanted this job.” I was thinking, “Oh, thank God.”)

So the whole job thing here is kind of irrelevant (I’m still relieved I didn’t get it!). What I’m concerned with here is the fact that I spent two weeks consumed with worry and fear and dread. Two weeks! That’s 14 days of glorious summertime. Part of that time I was away with my mom and my sisters at a beautiful spa and part of that time I was at the beach with my family and friends. And all of that time I had a pit in my stomach and my mind was spinning about this job. This job that never happened. This job I never needed to worry about.

The worry kept me from enjoying the moments I was living. It kept my mind in this gloomy place of dread. I wasn’t present with my children, I fought with my husband, I was snappy and sad around my mom and sisters. And it was all for nothing.

The Worrying We Do is Often for Nothing

I try to remember this when I find myself worrying about anything. We don’t really know what’s going to happen, so why waste time worrying about anything?

Of course, we can plan and prepare and consider possibilities so that we’re ready for them. But we really shouldn’t worry.

Worrying takes us out of the present. It’s about the past or the future.

Even when you’re living through an actual moment of crisis, that’s not worrying. It’s full-on fear, it’s sadness, it’s despair. Worrying tends to be thinking about something that was or something that could be.

There are lots of example like this in my life, some small, some big. Motherhood brings on just a whole big gob of worry. You could worry about every moment of those little people’s day if you let yourself. But you can’t let yourself.

Which brings me to the two main ideas I wanted to share with you today: Be Present and Let It Go

Be Present and Let It Go

We’ve all heard about being present and being more mindful. A big part of living that is letting go of worry.

I’m a worrier (see this post for more on that!) so it is hard for me to not worry. It is something I have to work on. Right now I could probably rattle off a thousand worries. But I have gotten better at not letting myself fixate on things, not letting things consume me. I remind myself to let it go- those things might not happen anyway. Those things might get taken care of all on their own in a way you don’t expect.

Worry is tied in with stress; we know that’s not good for our bodies. So letting go of worry should be part of taking care of ourselves. What are some ways to get better at it? Read a book about Buddhism, meditate, write down your worries…my worry post has some ideas.

〈Here are a few books worth checking out: Peace is Every Step by Thich Nhat Hanh (this author kept popping up when I searched for books on Buddhism and if you only check out one book I’d pick this one), Buddhist Boot Camp by Timber Hawkeye (my husband made fun of me for buying this because of the title, but I like that you can read a short story each day and walk away with a lesson), and the more academic and wordy but worth reading Why Buddhism is True by Robert Wright. 〉

So while we have all probably heard the “live in the moment” and mindfulness stuff, I think it’s important to consider the “letting go” part. In order to be present, we need to detach from our worrying thoughts.

There’s a whole world of Buddha-inspired wisdom out there. Some of it I love, some I’m not so sure about. But I think in this crazy world we live in, a little bit of Buddha can do us a whole lot of good.

Things to worry about will never go away. There’s an endless supply! But your response to worry is what matters. Let it go…

Can you think of a time when you worried yourself sick about something that never came to be? I would love to hear from you with your example, your thoughts on worry, and if you’ve ever been obsessed with Buddha.

 

 

 

 

 

P.S. I would also love to hear from you if you’ve ever been obsessed with crystal meth or Oliver! Sign up for my newsletter and let’s get in touch!!