My message for Getting Out of a Rut, Day 2 is: Make a Plan.
Never underestimate the power of having a plan to follow. Even if that plan doesn’t solve all your problems or address all your questions. A good plan in place in one area can help you feel better prepared to tackle other areas.
Before I talk more about my plan, here’s a little more about why I’m feeling stuck/unsure/overwhelmed…
Some Rut Background
I don’t want to just write about being stuck in a rut. I’m hoping that me over here working on climbing out of a rut can help someone out there who is also in a rut. So I don’t want to complain, but I do want to explain my rut a little more.
My rut is largely a season-of-life rut. It’s a sandwich generation rut. It’s a passage of motherhood rut. And it’s a mid-life rut. Not a crisis- I’m happy and I love my life overall and I don’t want to run off or have an affair with the pool boy. But I definitely feel like I’m at a crossroads…
⇒Taking care of my children has been the largest part of my life since 2005. Now they’re all in school fulltime. So I’m feeling nostalgic for the old days (see this post about when my youngest went to kindergarten) and just starting to feel the excitement of having my life back to myself more.⇐
But the life I have back to myself (more) is not the life it was back in 2005, nor is it the life I have had in the years since. So what is it? I feel like I need to figure out how to live this life now.
A big part of life is a career. And here is where I’m getting in rut-mode. I’m not sure if I want to do what I did before I had children. In my head, I have this other dream career in mind, but in real life, I’m currently unemployed. While I’m building my dream career I need to keep a foot in reality and make some money. Which makes me stressed. Which adds to the state of my rut.
I think a lot of women who stay home for a long time face this dilemma. “What do I want to be?” isn’t just a question for children or twenty-somethings. I’m realizing more and more how many adults find themselves asking that question at 40-50-60, a much more uncomfortable time to be asking.
My Plan of Action
Rather than feeling stuck, I came up with a plan that I think will help me- stress less, worry less, feel better. A plan that will get me out of this rut. Over the next few weeks, I will share with you what made me choose the six commitments I mentioned in my Getting out of my Rut- Day 1 post. But overall here’s why I chose those 6 things:
- Action in one area of life can spill over and energize you in other areas of life.
- Checking off tasks feels good and gives you a psychological boost.
- All of the things I’ve committed to have mind/body benefits.
- Being proactive beats sitting around worrying.
- All this good stuff is sure to help keep me positive.
- Taking control of those areas of life you can control makes it easier to deal with the stress of things that are out of your control.
I also wanted to share a little more about the book I’m reading- May Cause Miracles by Gabrielle Bernstein. I can’t share too much because I’m only a few pages in! But this is what appealed to me about the book:
- it’s set up like a guidebook, with a plan for each day
- there is a morning and evening exercise for each day
- the daily reading/activities are short
- it will help me make a habit of meditating- something I have had trouble sticking with, but I know I need
When you are feeling stuck or uninspired, committing to a plan of action is helpful. It serves as a guide and keeps you from veering off course. It takes away the uncertainty of what to do next. Just like the plan I made for myself, the book feels concrete, logical. Even if it has to do with something that has more of a woo-woo vibe. And I’m not looking for miracles- I’m just looking to get unstuck, move forward, and be more open to what might lie ahead.
What do you do to get out of a rut? A rough patch? I’d love to hear your ideas!
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