Confession: I ditched my gratitude journal this summer. Well, I didn’t ditch it like throw it into a mud puddle or out the car window, but I neglected it. Gave up on it. I dragged it around in my bag of books all summer, but it, along with other important things, just sat there. In the last month or so I have recommitted to my pretty little gratitude journal. And here’s what helped me do it…I catch small moments of gratitude.
Gratitude is one of those things that I think is so important but feels so intangible, so easy to dismiss, maybe even a little boring. Is it just me? Gratitude makes me want to roll my eyes and yawn at the same time. Is that even possible?
But I came around to the whole thing when I went to that retreat last fall, and I committed to making it a part of my day, and it really made a huge difference in my life. I’ve seen it make a huge difference in other people’s lives too. (I wrote a big post about Gratitude you can see here and a post about that retreat you can read here.)
So what made me fall out of the habit? Well, the rut is partially to blame. And there you have the whole “vicious cycle” scenario rearing its head. You get in a rut, the rut makes you fall out of doing good habits because, why bother? Those good habits could help you out of the rut but you gave up on them because of the rut…blah, blah, blah.
I think what else is to blame is that I stopped feeling it. For gratitude to really make a difference in your life you have to feel it.
I was putting lots of big things down on paper and not enough little things. So today I want to encourage you to try out the gratitude thing even if you’ve tried and failed in the past like me. Don’t focus too much on the big things you’re grateful for. Try to catch small moments of gratitude.
When you smile (a for-real smile, not a polite smile) catch yourself and put into words what’s making you smile. Is it a hug from your kid, a coworker telling a joke, someone giving you a compliment? Those are the things you’re looking for. (See this article on oprah.com for her thoughts on daily gratitude- including the little things!)
This came to me the other day in a not very perfect moment. I was sitting on the couch with my son and he was playing Minecraft on the iPad. So no big mothering happening here. More like mom laziness. But I found myself smiling and it was just from the feel of him sitting next to me- warm and cozy and comfortable.
That little moment gave me a feeling of immense gratitude. I don’t know what it was about that particular moment. I have sat on the couch often enough with his little body next to mine and not had that wave of gratitude. It just hit me.
So those are the kinds of moments I’ve been focusing on. I write about them in my gratitude journal and I pull them up in my mind during the day when I’m feeling crabby or blue. If we’re looking for those moments we might be more likely to notice them.
Moments like those can help you break out of your rut. On a daily basis and over the course of time.
So don’t feel like you have to be grateful for something big or profound. And it doesn’t have to involve anyone else. Focus on what makes you feel really grateful in the moment…
- a hot cup of coffee
- cozy pajamas
- when you catch your kids playing nicely
- having enough ink in your printer
- chatting with someone nice in the store
- a hot shower when you’re cold
- a pen that writes nicely
- laughing with your kids over something silly
- a text from a friend
- making a green light
- finding your favorite ice cream in the store
Capture that feeling- that quick, deep feeling- and that’s the gratitude. That’s the gratitude you’ll think of when you write, “I am grateful for finding the matching sock when I was running late.” That’s the gratitude that will make you feel a moment.
And I can tell you honestly some days it has been a struggle when I first sit down to write. This makes me feel like a terrible person because I am well aware of how much I have to be grateful for, starting with the fact that I’m alive and healthy.
But on crabby days it can take a minute to warm up and find something that makes you smile. Thinking about something with my kids usually works for me. For you, it might be your dog or your cat or your friend or the crazy lady down the street who makes you laugh.
What small things are you grateful for? I’d love to know!
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