Life is moving faster and faster…even if some days and weeks feel very, very long. That’s why we could all use a little more self-awareness. It sounds so cliched, but we really only get one life, there is no dress rehearsal, and all that. We need to make it good. I, for one, don’t want to grind through this life; I want to love it. All of it. So I’m figuring out what I want and how I can make that happen, even if it feels like I should already have it all figured out.
Things are about to get really hokey. I’m going to ask you a cheesy-sounding, awkward question that might make you want to cringe. But I want you to give it a chance. How well do you know yourself? How self-aware are you?
I think one of the things that are lacking in our busy world, is the value of really thinking about the big questions- meaning, fulfillment, feelings. And it’s easy to roll our eyes about this kind of stuff because it feels too touchy-feely, impractical, weird.
But I think if we all looked a little closer at our feelings about how we’re living life, we could make changes to make us happier. To make people around us happier. To make the world a little bit better. It would also help us appreciate this life more.
So…I’m pushing self-reflection and self-awareness. Really thinking about how things are and how we’d like them to be. Even if we’re already happy as a clam, are we living our best life?
If you could design your ideal day, what would it be? And a real typical day, one that will probably look a lot different than the day your 20-something-year-old self would design. Not a day when you’re on vacation. Just a regular day in your regular life.
Give yourself a few minutes to think about it. What time would you get up? What would you do first? How would the rest of your day play out? Where would you be going, in what kind of car, and what would you be wearing?
Of course, we all have some parameters we have to work with- like families. But other than that really let yourself dream about what that would be.
If it’s not how you’re living now…
- What could you do to make it happen?
- What could you do right now to make your life look a little more like that?
Checkpoints and Transitions
There’s a sense that we’re not supposed to give this much thought, even when we’re figuring out what we want to be when we grow up.
It’s not something we’re taught really matters. Of course, our parents wanted us to be happy and live happy lives, but self-reflection wasn’t given much credence. And dreaming big was squashed more and more as we got older and closer to adulthood in favor of more practical matters.
There are certain times of transition in life when we are given more of a chance to dream, plan, adventure. Like after college. But I’ve discovered over the last few years just how many times of transition there are…
- returning to work after staying home with kids
- retirement
- life-altering events
- lay-offs
These times make us stop and reevaluate. But in that reevaluation, we still don’t often consider happiness. We think practically and logically. Practicality and logic have an important role and are things we have to factor in, but can’t we consider what we really want too? Can’t we want more?
That’s why I think we should periodically check in with ourselves and see how we feel about how things are going. Just because.
When we are swept along with the day-to-day, sometimes we lose sight of the big picture. Our dreams get lost in the shuffle; our happiness is secondary to living the life we’re supposed to live. We plug away and go through the motions. Until one day we realize that maybe we’re not really where we want to be.
I’m asking you: are you happy with where you are in life?
- Are you happy in your relationships- with your partner, your family, your friends?
- Do you make time for yourself?
- Do you feel good in your own skin?
- Are you confident?
- What do you love doing? How often do you do it?
How about your job? Or if you don’t have a job right now, with how you spend your time?
- Do you love your job?
- Does your work bring you joy and make you feel fulfilled?
- Do you have a hobby that does that?
- Are there things you’ve always wanted to do that you’ve put on the back burner and forgotten about?
- I could go on and on, but those are a general start!
Figuring out this kind of stuff doesn’t mean you’re unhappy with where you are now. It’s just taking a little self-assessment and finding where you want to change or grow.
Growth is an important part of the human experience. We’re not supposed to grow up until a certain point and then stop and just live that way until we die.
We probably give more thought to what to make for dinner, what to wear for that wedding, what color to paint the kitchen (I’m no interior decorator, but even I have paint colors memorized), than we do to our own happiness.
At times we look to the outside for happiness and fulfillment. Have you ever said any of these…
- When I lose weight…
- When I meet someone…
- Once I get that job/promotion…
- When we have more money…more time…
Looking inward is what will really help us feel fulfilled, meet goals,
It might not be exciting, it might feel a little weird. But it’s worth it.
So how do we become more self-aware? Start with these questions, look at Zig Ziglar’s Wheel of Life to help you evaluate the different areas of your life, read some personal development books (here are some of my favorites), listen to inspiring people, go for a walk and strike up a conversation with a friend, journal a little bit if that’s your thing.
Is there an area of your life that could use a little attention? Do you make time to think about the big stuff or read books that can spark change? I’d love to hear from you…
P.S. Sign up for my newsletter for more on figuring things out, who I look to for inspiration, and more!
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