Eat Mindfully, Quit Binging

Quarantine snacks got you down? We have been eating well. A little too well. Homemade bread and pizza, lots of brownies and cookies too. Plus the constant snacking- chips, popcorn, cheese and crackers. Thank God I have been keeping up with my personal development because I just happened to have a book about overeating lying around and I just started a new workout program. The two have come together this week and brought me a much-needed and timely lesson…and they’re helping me eat mindfully and quit binging.

I want to start by saying I am a hungry girl and I love sweets. I have been eating clean for a few years, but my battle with loving sweets rages on. My day looks like that meme about healthy eating…supermodel habits until about 3:00pm and then my inner 5-year-old takes over.

And there is definitely a self-destructive component to overeating. I read this great quote about self-destruction that feels a little dramatic but so true. I’m not talking cocaine and a bottle of Jack Daniels self-destruction, more of your everyday, run-of-the-mill self-destruction.

Self-Destructive Behaviors

“Self-destructive behaviors” sound less dramatic than self-destruction, doesn’t it? It’s those behaviors that are bad for you or get in the way of what’s ultimately best for you. I’m sure we’ve all seen more serious self-destructive behaviors at work- drugs, alcohol, gambling, etc.- and the toll they can have on a person. But there are also less dangerous forms that are still unhealthy.

Self-destruction can include eating foods that you know are bad for you, binging, eating because you’re stressed, tired, mad, sad. Polishing off a pint of Rocky Road when you’ve worked out and eaten well all week. Sitting on a stool in the corner of the kitchen and shoveling chocolate chips in your mouth. Or having another glass of wine even though you know it will give you a headache in the morning because you had a rough day.

When you are about to engage in self-destructive behavior think about why you’re doing it. Maybe it’s just that you need to give yourself some care. You might need something at the moment for a good reason. It might have been a really bad day, you might have something stressing you out, you might feel really sad.

It’s often easier and quicker to reach for the food or the drink than it is to take a break and figure out what you really need. But once you get used to it doing it, it will feel more natural.

Looking to take care of yourself through less destructive ways doesn’t necessarily mean you can never have your chocolate, your chips, or your wine again. You can still have those things, and you’ll probably enjoy them more when you are using them for indulgence instead of looking for them to fix you or whatever is bothering you.

Wanting More

Something in the book Turning off the Tap by Sara Best really struck me. In it, she talks about how people overeat not just when they’re sad but when they’re happy. Think about overdoing it on Christmas or on vacation. It’s because dopamine triggers an, “I want more,” response. Sure we’re happy, but our brain wants even more happiness.

Wanting more can lead you down that path of self-destructive behaviors. Overeating and drinking too much are often just about wanting more of what makes you feel good, even if you know there will be negative consequences.

I can see that in myself in relation to food- overeating because something is so good or continuing to eat because we’re all sitting around the table eating together and it feels good, it’s part of the experience. It can happen with alcohol too- wanting more of the feelings one drink gives you. There is that feeling of wanting more– more warm fuzzy feelings, more camaraderie, more laughter, more fun. And that’s why we sometimes overdo it and drink too much- in search of more.

Instead, we can learn to sink into the present and really enjoy it. Enjoy what’s happening, not the “more” that could happen.

That was really eye-opening to me, in terms of overeating, drinking too much, and other behaviors that can cross a line into being self-destructive. Knowing there’s a biological reason for it makes it somehow better, doesn’t it? And it’s also empowering. Because knowing it, being aware of it means I can take better charge of it.

The timing of reading it is incredible (it makes me think of my Little Messages post) because I’ve been on the best 5-day eating streak I’ve had in a long time. And you know what? I didn’t swear off treats. Sometimes I think a sugar detox is necessary and so helpful. But I also felt like quarantine with four kids and lots of baking happening wasn’t the best time to try it.

Eat mindfully, enjoy indulgences

So I made brownies for them the other day, and I did something crazy. I had a small brownie. I cut one in half and I ate it and I enjoyed it and I did not eat anymore. For real! I made myself a little greek yogurt cookie dough kinda concoction to eat while everyone else dove into the rest of the brownies. I did not feel deprived because I tasted the brownie and it was good and I enjoyed it but I did not feel the need for “more.”

All of this has me thinking I can eat healthily and enjoy foods and really tackle the emotional eating/binge eating cycle I’ve been battling all my life. Because I’ve been good at the eating healthily part for a few years now, but the stress eating and overdoing it and feeling crappy about it has reared it’s ugly head periodically. And this last patch has been very long.

Will I give in and overdo again? Yes, I’m sure I will. It’s always easier to talk about these things when you’re not in the midst of the feelings and the f-*k-its. But I’m also sure that this will help me give myself care instead of destruction more often.

What can you do instead?

So the next time you feel a binge coming on, or you’re about to do something that you know isn’t really good for you but feels so good, think about what better-for-you thing you can do. Like deep breathing or meditation or if you’re not there yet maybe something else that feels indulgent, like giving yourself ten minutes to sit and scroll social media or watch a stupid show. Call a friend and rant about your day. Listen to a Mel Robbins clip on Facebook.

Get in the habit of checking in on what you’re feeling that’s making you reach for the chips or the chocolate or the wine. Think about what you need and how you could better meet those needs.

And definitely check out Sara Best’s book Turning Off the Tap: Overcoming the real reasons we overeat. It takes lots of brain-related science stuff and applies it to our relationship with food. It’s one of the best books I’ve read about the topic! You can find it on her blog- sarabest.com– or on Amazon. It’s definitely worth checking out her blog either way- lots of great articles!

Do you struggle with binging or stress eating? I’d love to hear from you! Comment here, send me an email (mary@stayathomefit.com) or connect with me on Facebook or Instagram.

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