Starting and Stopping

How many times have you started and stopped something? Started that diet, but stopped because you were too hungry. Worked out a few times, but stopped because it was too hard. Woke up early- that one day, then that fizzled at a startling rate and here you are hitting snooze again and having a crappy morning. Starting and stopping can be exhausting, demoralizing, and enough to make you want to throw in the towel. But don’t give up! I promise you can start again.

Starting and stopping used to make me feel seriously flawed. I remember thinking all sorts of bad thoughts about myself…

what the hell is the matter with me?

why can’t I stick with anything?

there is something wrong with me.

I will never be able to do this.

I was born without the discipline gene.

Why do I even bother?

I never stick with anything.

I’ll never __________. (fill in the blank- lose weight, be confident, write a book, be successful)

And other fun things like that. It’s a wonder I ever got out of bed with all that nastiness in my head.

Exercise is a great example of starting and stopping. I started and stopped all sorts of exercise- running, Tae Bo, The Firm, some pilates program I saw on an infomercial, aerobics classes, the list could go on…And I started and stopped for 20 years.

Until I didn’t. Until it stuck. I have theories about why I finally stuck with it, but I can’t say for sure.

But I “started” again in 2012 and I didn’t “stop.” I still haven’t stopped.

Part of me back then said, “You’re not really gonna do this.” But I started again anyway. And because I was willing to start again despite my past track record, despite my self-doubt, I have changed my life in more ways than I ever thought possible from burpees and godforsaken high knees.

Starting and Stopping Without the Self-Abuse

I have started and stopped in other areas too- organization kicks, craft projects, hobbies, various and assorted good habits, writing.

If I’ve started it, I’ve probably stopped it.

I still start and stop, but lately, I have stopped beating myself up for the stopping part. (Sometimes those old voices creep in, but I’m better at fighting them off…usually.)

Why we stop…

There are probably thousands of reasons why we stop, but here are a few…

we get tired

it’s not the right fit for us

we make excuses

boredom

it’s hard

we get stuck- paralysis by analysis, overwhelm

self-sabotage

fear

self-doubt

And let me say that one again- self-doubt

Sometimes we stop for legitimate reasons. But we probably find ways to berate ourselves then too.

And there are ways to make it more likely we won’t stop…

make it (whatever it is) a priority

put habits into place to make it more likely you will continue

work on your mindset

find accountability

But most importantly: when you stop, know you can start again.

You can start again. (And again and again and again…)

It’s hard not to beat yourself up. Sometimes it feels like you’ve started so many times and you’ve never stuck with it before- you might as well throw in the towel. Give up. That ship has sailed. It’s just not meant for you. You just can’t do it. Don’t waste your time.

It can be exhausting.

“I’m so tired of starting over.” How many times have you heard and/or said that before?

Know that these are all just limiting beliefs. You can do anything. Shake it off, focus on mindset first, and start. For the freaking millionth time if that’s what it is…just start.

I struggle with my writing (this blog and other things) and being consistent in my dream career path. (Organization, decisiveness, moisturizing, and eating for nourishment, not emotional reasons are up there too!)

Sometimes it’s because I get overwhelmed and don’t even know where to start, sometimes it’s because I overthink things, sometimes it’s because I’m busy, sometimes it’s because I’m being lazy, sometimes it’s because I’m sad, sometimes it’s because I feel like why am I bothering…

(Mostly it’s self-doubt. That’s what it usually comes down to.)

But here I am…showing up. Writing another post. Starting again…

Where are you stopping yourself? I’d love to hear from some other starter/stoppers, self-doubters, self-sabotagers. You can comment here, email me mary@stayathomefit.com, visit me on Facebook or Instagram!

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