Make a Happiness List

As we’re hovering around the one-year mark of this pandemic, I can see how it’s wearing on my kids. (and maybe me and maybe a lot of people that I’ve been talking to). “Happiness” can be harder to come by, the day-to-day happiness, not the more meaningful full-life happiness. Or maybe it’s that sadness and anxiety are so easy to come by these days.

I think we’re turning the corner; some springy days have helped lift the mood. The virus news is better. There’s talk of a full return to in-person school next month…maybe. My youngest, a third-grader, has been in-person one extra day a week for the last few weeks. A feeling of hope is in the air…

But some days it just feels like we’re still in the long, weird, sad, slogging through…and the weight of the past year is feeling very heavy. (Even if it’s not as heavy for some of us as it is for others)

The Weight of Weirdness and Isolation

A few weeks ago we were all showing signs of being worn down by the whole thing. We were quarantined during winter break and the in-person part of the school week that followed. The weather was crappy.

It seemed like whatever we had managed to do to keep our sanity in check a year ago had lost its luster. And whatever we’d been doing to hang on in the interim just wasn’t cutting it.

And my youngest hates online school. He is a ray of sunshine, a ball of joy, one of the happiest kids you could ever meet. But online school is just torture for him. He does it, he behaves, he does his work, but he’s sad. And it breaks my heart. His endurance is waning…

So one day to cheer him up I suggested we make a list of things that make him happy. Then when he was feeling blue or having a bad day he could check the list for ideas to perk himself up.

It started slowly, but he got some momentum going and ended up with a list of 60 things.

Here are some examples…

-facetime Aunt Cathy

-read Harry Potter with mom

-draw

-practice piano

-do a project

-play outside

The technology was on there, too! But since I was present for the making of the list, I encouraged things beyond the Nintendo Switch or the DS or YouTube or games on the iPad. (And I think we all know most technology doesn’t bring us real happiness, even 8-year-olds.)

It sounds silly, but it helps…

I think the list helped in a few ways. Mostly, it cheered him up at the moment. But it has also taught him to take action when he’s sad or blue or bored or frustrated or in a crappy mood. (Sometimes with reminding from me- “go check your list”)

He has gone back to the list and added things. He has gone back to the list and actually done things on it. It hasn’t solved all our problems, but it’s been helpful.

It’s been a good reminder for the rest of us too. I have found myself in a bad mood and doing nothing about it. Just walking around in my bad mood being quiet and a little snappy and not doing anything about it.

Well, if I tell my little guy it’s his responsibility to turn his mood around, I probably should do something to turn my own mood around when the time comes.

So here are some things from my Happiness List…

-listen to music

-call someone

-read Harry Potter with Danny

-go for a walk

-meditate

-listen to an inspiring podcast

-write

The list can be anything but should focus on healthier things rather than less-healthy habits. Like I might want to eat ice cream when I’m cranky or sad (or anytime really) but it’s probably not the best option for me to turn to when I’m down. Other things that might make us happy that we should probably avoid (but some of which most certainly have their time and place)…online shopping, binge-watching Netflix, vodka.

(I did write a blog post about this a while back; you can read it here.)

I encourage you to make your own list! And next time you’re feeling crappy do something from it.

If writing the list sounds crazy just think about it, make a mental list, and next time you’re feeling crappy do something from it.

So often we just let our mood take over. (I know it’s not just me, right?) We don’t have to do that. We are in control and we can change things. Make a little shift in direction and do something.

Wallowing is allowed, too, sometimes…I’m not saying we should repress our feelings and fake our way to happiness.

Feel the feelings, acknowledge them, see if you can figure out why you’re feeling that way, do something positive to soothe yourself, take action, and move forward.

And sometimes a good old wallow is in order, too.

What would make your happiness list? I’d love to hear from you! You can comment here, email me at mary@stayathomefit.com, or find me on Facebook or Instagram.

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