“Uncertainty” has certainly been taken to a whole new level this past year, hasn’t it? I don’t think even Tama Kieves could have predicted how much we’d need her book! Thriving Through Uncertainty: Moving Beyond Fear of the Unknown and Making Change Work for You came into my life at the perfect time- both for my personal life and for what was happening in the world. It has brought me comfort and reassurance and inspired me at the same time.
But this book isn’t just for days of the pandemic, political turmoil, and social unrest; it’s for any time people feel like they need a shift in some area of their lives- a personal shift or a career shift. It’s for people who feel restless or anxious or discontent. And it’s for people who want to feel more joy, more fulfillment, less like something is “off” or missing in their regular life.
My copy of this book is obviously well-loved. There are post-its galore, along with underlined sentences, asterisks, and highlights. It is filled with quotes and takeaways that are literally life-changing.
This is a personal development book that is enjoyable to read. It’s not boring or complicated, more soulful and misty. The stories Tama sprinkles in are relatable and will make you smile.
Some chapter titles I love are “Finding Faith When You’re Freaking Out” (from a girl with a tendency to freak out internally while looking serene on the outside) and “Make Progress, Not War (with Yourself)” (from a girl who also feels at war with herself more often than not).
I have learned a ton from Tama Kieves (I’m also a big fan of her book Inspired & Unstoppable: Wildly Succeeding in Your Life’s Work and A Year Without Fear: 5-Minute Mind-Set Shifts). I’ve taken some classes and courses with her online and I can only hope to get to see her in person one day at a retreat.
I’m Uncertain, But OK
But maybe the most important thing I’ve learned from this book is that where I am is ok. I know that sounds wishy-washy and woo-woo, but the sinking-in of this has changed me. Maybe feeling uncertain is part of the process.
Another most important thing: the longing I feel for a more inspired life is normal and natural. Ignoring that longing and sticking to the “practical” path is what’s unnatural. I’m not saying you have to quit your job and start making art or building houses for the homeless. Maybe your longing will lead you to deeper relationships, self-discovery, positive changes in some area of your life where you feel stagnant or stuck.
This is not a boot camp-style, whip-your-life-into-shape-in-five-steps kind of book. However, the hope, reassurance, and love it brings will inspire you to take action.
Each chapter does end with practices to try at home. Some of these might feel too out-there or weird, but they can be very effective. I was hesitant- partly due to laziness, partly due to resisting journaling- to try them. Once I did and gave up my resistance to them, they were really helpful.
Life is still uncertain. I still feel like I’m bobbing around in a sea of uncertainty most days. But I am more hopeful, kinder to myself, more certain that I am on the path I’m on for a reason.
Those things make this a must-read. And a must-read-again.
Here are some of my favorite quotes from the book…
Psychological studies show that we as human beings thrive on ‘positive stress.’ You think you want ironclad safety. But you deserve so much more in life than this- because the need for constant control can cause boredom, exhaustion, and hollowness. Like you didn’t already know that.
Your entire life is based on the thoughts you choose. The thoughts you choose are more important than the school you attend, the job you get, the wealth in your bank account, the talents you have, the love of your family, or the health of your body.
What if you’re not stuck? What if you’re not adrift? What if you’re supposed to be right here in the dead center of it all for reasons you can’t see yet?
These are times of initiation. You are being asked to make a choice to love and advocate for yourself in a more powerful way than ever before- enough to choose faith in your own good life.
I don’t really know what I have yet, so I crave what I think others have. And the irony is this: The more I focus on what others have, the more I have no idea what I have.
I don’t want my heirloom roses to wither because I’m so busy looking over my shoulder at my neighbor’s roses that I neglect to water and feed this beauty before me.
Nothing grows without love and attention. Likewise, nothing given love and attention remains the same.
There’s also a divine timing, when something just takes hold as it has not done before.
You can’t force yourself to be ready. But you can keep taking steps in the right direction as many times as possible.
The dream basher in you pushes you into airtight commitments. But real change is about breathing, coming in and going out.
…the power to help yourself feel centered, connected, and confident no matter what is one of the most important skills…
It’s astounding to experience your own comfort in an uncomfortable situation. You can expand your comfort zone, your world, and your options.
I want to choose from my soul’s needs- what I passionately want- more than from the involuntary fears and pride that cheapen my potential.
It’s one step that leads you everywhere. There is always a next step. You may want a guarantee before you take it. But the step is your guarantee.
There will always be a gap, a space between where you are and where you want to be. This isn’t failure. This is life, especially for someone who continues to grow.
Which quote is your favorite? Are you feeling uncertain? Where are you inspired to show up differently? What do you want to change in your life?
Sound like a book you’d like to read? (You can buy it here on Amazon) I’m just full of questions for you today! But I’m starting up a book club soon and thinking about making this our first book…reach out to me for more info!
I would love to hear from you…you can comment here, email me at mary@stayathomefit.com, or find me on Facebook and Instagram.
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