Patience and Love as Part of Health and Wellness

Have you ever considered how much time you have spent talking about, reading about, or thinking about weight loss and/or fitness? I don’t think I’m alone when I say my answer would be, to be precise: A LOT. Even when we’re in a good place, when we hear someone talk about what workout they’re doing or what diet they’re trying, we want to hear about it. So how do we figure out how to spend a healthy amount of time thinking about health and wellness (which might mean losing weight and almost definitely means eating more healthfully and probably means getting more exercise) without it taking over our thoughts or keeping us from other things? It’s all about little steps, patience, and love.

 

I just listened to such a good podcast. It was an interview with the author Anne Lamott on Cathy Heller’s Don’t Keep Your Day Job podcast. (I have never read any of her books, but she has been on my “to read” list for a while.) She said lots of things that struck me- I might have to listen again. But one thing, in particular, I want to share with you today. She said something along the lines of “when am I going to stop worrying about the cellulite on my thighs” in relation to enjoying life and letting the focus on body image and weight take energy away from more important, more meaningful things in life.

I have backslid on my clean eating enthusiasm the last year or so (emotional eating + pandemic baking = my pants don’t fit) so I have been putting more mental energy on losing weight and feeling fluffy than I have in a while. So this resonated…

Now I am around the age (I think) when she had this self-realization. And I have talked with lots of other women about weight loss, fitness, health, self-esteem. I’ve seen this kind of realization/regret again and again. We tend to put lots of time and energy into thinking about/obsessing about our bodies.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be a healthy weight (which probably means losing a little for most of us). Weight, like it or not, is part of the big picture of overall health and wellness. But what we’ve kind of been programmed to aspire to isn’t necessarily a “healthy” body weight. It’s thin, skinny, perfect.

How do we strive for healthier bodies without it being a drain on our energy and our lives?

When we’ve shifted our thinking from thin to healthy, it’s a good start. Then it will be easier to put things in place that will ultimately build a healthy lifestyle. Which includes exercise, good nutrition, and a healthy, growing mind.

Maybe we could shift some of that overabundance of energy we have periodically been channeling into losing weight, wearing a bathing suit, feeling fat, feeling anxious about events because of our weight, wondering what’s wrong with us…

into taking little steps, being patient, and loving ourselves. 

Imagine the good we could do with that kind of time and energy?

The 3 Rocks

A big part of my life revolves around fitness- whole-life fitness. It started with talking lots about working out. Because for me exercise was the rock in the pond that started the ripple that changed all areas of my life. (Although my “why” for the exercise had already started to shift…mindset at work there)

You need to find your health and wellness rock. Maybe it will be exercise, maybe it will be nutrition, maybe it will be personal development. But once you find your rock, you’ll need to find a way to make all three part of your life. And everyone’s pond will look a little different.

This is what I love about exercise…

*it boosts my mood- like immediately, and throughout the day, and over time

*I don’t know how it happened, but at some point, I actually started enjoying the exercise itself- the physical challenge, the sweat, all of it (believe me I know how insane this might sound, it must be those endorphins)

*I like feeling strong and fit; I like being able to do things physically that I couldn’t do 10 years ago. I like seeing muscle where there’s never been muscle before.

*I like feeling good about my body. This part is a struggle still. But I feel a hell of a lot better about my body now than I ever did- even if there may have been stretches (brief stretches) of time when I was thinner than I am now. I’ve never been this strong- and that’s what makes me feel fit. Strong, not skinny.

Nutrition is Harder For Me

This is my struggle area. So I go back to basics- I go back to the first thing that struck a chord with me. Clean eating. I let all thoughts of keto, paleo, gluten-free/dairy-free go…those thoughts that have been swirling around in desperation as I try to right this sinking ship.

I pick up a clean eating plan, I resolve to give myself a break from sugar, I look up new recipes, and I dive in.

My nutrition goes back to being about eating for health, nourishing my body, feeling better, and less about losing weight.

The Struggle is Part of the Path…But it gets better

What can be so hard on a health and fitness journey…

*Not letting body image and weight consume you, not letting body image and weight overshadow other parts of life, not letting body image and weight keep you from enjoying life

So how can we work towards being healthier, fitting in our jeans, feeling comfortable in our skin, without obsessing about it, feeling miserable, beating ourselves up?

It’s how we approach it. And I hate to throw this word out there because it feels like an unattainable, unrealistic something we women are supposed to strive for, but it’s about finding balance. The balance between giving our physical health time and attention without letting it become an unhealthy focus.

Some ways to do this…

*know that it’s an ongoing process; even if you could drop 30 pounds today, you’d have to keep up good habits to keep them off. You’re after a lifestyle here, not a quick fix. This is more about the means than the end (though there’s nothing wrong with setting healthy goals to keep you motivated and accountable, too). Sometimes a program or a regimen can help you get started, can help you learn about what you need to do eat better, and lose weight. But choose your “means” carefully.

*keep it simple. Put a plan in place and stick with it. Don’t go too extreme. Choose a healthy habit that you can implement pretty easily (see this post for some ideas). Set yourself up for success, then add on.

*be kind to yourself. try to reframe your negative thinking. When you say something negative to yourself, stop it. Imagine yourself saying something like that to someone else and see how harmful it is. Stop the thought and say something positive instead. This sounds awkward and silly, but over time it will be more natural.

I’m still striving for “balance” in this area. My weight has always been something I struggled with. And I am an emotional eater, and sometimes binger. I am not at my healthiest weight right now- I’ve put on a few pounds. I blame grief, stress, and the pandemic. Whatever the reasons, I’m back at a place where my pants don’t fit. And that’s a sucky feeling. I also worry about diabetes. Type II diabetes runs in my family; seeing the myriad of health problems it can cause is enough to make me want to fly straight.

So how do I move forward?

I exercise and I go back to basics with clean eating. I’m patient with myself when I slip up and eat out of boredom, stress, sadness, or habit. I pay attention, but I don’t obsess. When I’m hard on myself or thinking too much about my weight I do my best to redirect. I wear my comfiest jeans more often…

I try not to let worrying about my thighs or my tummy get in the way of doing things that will bring me joy- swimming with my kids, wearing sundresses, having fun instead of feeling self-conscious. It’s not easy, but I try.

What is your first rock? What comes easiest to you- exercise or nutrition or mindset stuff? Have you found it yet? I’d love to hear from you! You can comment here, email me at mary@stayathomefit.com, or find me on Facebook or Instagram.

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